So one of my friends is struggling with balance in his life, and I’m one of the pieces that has to go by the wayside. It’s not my preference or my desired path, but true to form, I am willing to sacrifice my needs for his.
But it’s tough, especially without closure, because, well, that’s just how it is. But my therapist was incredibly helpful to me today. After listening to my internal struggle, my selfish needs and the needs of my dear friend, she advised me to let go (like I knew she would). But how do I do that? She reminds me of all of the pressures he faces, all of the many needs he is trying to meet, and the pieces of his life that really require his full dedication. And then she reminds me that although I need closure, he needs a clean break. She suggests that I use this phrase: Out of my love for you, I want to release you from any pressure you’re feeling.
And she reminds me that while I’ve often sacrificed my needs for others, and I’m trying to put myself first these days, that this particular situation demands that I release him from pressure.
So that is what I’m doing. I greatly appreciated all that his friendship has brought me, after all, he was the catalyst that brought about my awakening, helped me to seek support as I began to unravel…I will always care about my friend and be here if he needs me, but I will not be tugging at him anymore.
Just in case there’s room someday…