Posted on by Jennifer Cyr · 1 Comment

Making A Mountain Out Of A Molehill: how I’m my own worst enemy

Here’s the thing…on a good day, when I’m feeling content and calm, a simple statement is just that. Simple. But on a day when I’m feeling anxious, worried or just plain irritable, the littlest thing blows up in my mind, quickly becoming the end of everything.

The other day, someone said to me, “I just don’t have time for you right now.” And typically, I know she’s busy and I can roll with it. The other day though, I took it as “we aren’t friends anymore because I don’t have time for you right now”. See the difference?

So I begin to spiral…I start thinking of all the things about the friendship that tick me off and annoy me and I send a text outlining my arguments for why we should still be friends and all the things that have bothered me about our friendship and so-on…you get the picture.

Well, my message goes unanswered and I’m quite sure she’ll never speak to me again. I’ve cried and sulked and resigned myself to a lost relationship. The next morning, I wake up in a pretty good mood, energetic and ready for the day. I’m still bummed about the day before but I decided to put it out of my head and do my work.

Hours later, I’m sitting down to relax and it comes to me: I made a mountain out of a molehill. I added my own tainted thought to her message and ran with it. I looked back at the original message, and realized what an idiot I had been. I texted her and asked if I was guilty of creating this drama, and sure enough, the answer was yes.

We talked and things are good, but I thought now would be a good time to reflect on how I got to this place. I definitely let my mood dictate my perspective. And it seems obvious now, but at the time, I just didn’t see it.

And the best part about this situation, is that I realized that I’d been holding in a lot of little things that bothered me about our friendship. I hadn’t noticed that I’d held on so tightly until I expressed those issues. I’m thinking the reason I woke up so energetic and happy the next day was due to the catharsis that I allowed myself. Lesson learned: engage in relationships that allow you to be yourself, in which you can voice what irks you without fear of rejection, that nurture your soul, and forgive your mistakes.

Posted on by Jennifer Cyr · 2 Comments

Rules to Live By!

When I was 16, I attended a workshop for my summer job with Louise and Sam Dietzel. They had these Rules for Life that they shared wth us, and my life was forever changed.

I was trying to distinguish myself from my siblings, and trying to figure out who I was and what was important to me, and quite frankly, struggling to find my place in the world. Their thoughtful rules and words resonated with me so profoundly that all these years later, they are still my go-to when I’m down.

  • I am responsible to myself and for myself
  • I create my own experiences and feelings
  • When I speak, I say more about myself than the other person
  • At any given moment, I am doing the very best I can
  • Be kind and gentle with yourself

Louise added this last one years after Sam had passed, and it’s a good one.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. And though the reason is not always evident, that doesn’t matter. I just have to believe and have faith in these words, because it feels good to believe in something outside of myself. (Can’t believe I’m using that word again)

*And on a side note, a few years ago, I had the opportunity to talk with Louise and let her know how these rules have impacted my life…and she was so pleased! She was smiling ear to ear, and I’m so glad I was able to share that with her!