Just watched Welcome to Marwen…

See the movie trailer here

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for awhile, and I’m on a mini vacation all by myself, so I finally did. It is based on a true story, though I didn’t realize that till it was over. Anyway, it’s the story of a man who suffered a huge trauma, and he retreats into a make believe world, creating artistic works as he moves through the complicated process of healing.

See the trailer for the actual documentary here

Here’s what struck me about the movie, the story, really…(spoiler alert)

  • He sees women as fierce protectors, warriors, safety and security providers, as sex objects as well, but that’s not what resonated with me.
  • He was brave enough to be himself, to be vulnerable and real, even after being beaten for being different.
  • Healing won’t happen until it’s time, and it isn’t something that can be done for you.
  • There is no wrong way to work through trauma, the right way is whatever helps a person move through the feelings.
  • Each person who comes into our life has the power to leave behind a trace of themselves in our minds, on our hearts, in our dreams, and deep down in our bones. We each have the capacity to allow or disallow those traces to impact our daily life. When Mark made his statement to the court, he said his attackers could no longer hurt him no matter the sentence they were given. And conversely, he extends the name of his make believe land to Marwencol to reflect the impact his neighbor had on him.

This last bit is what really struck me because of what I’ve been trying to do with my overthinking brain. I have to choose what I allow to influence my thoughts, actions, and attitudes. I can carry the heavy burdens or I can let them go. I can instead pick up the flecks of gold left behind by those that flutter in and out of my life…Today, I’m this moment, I choose to be rich in gold, rather than suffer with a backache.

A beautiful snowy morning…

It’s my birthday today, and as I was out walking with a friend and then shoveling my driveway, I was overcome with a sense of gratitude. It was so quiet and beautiful, so I decided to make a cup of tea and sit on my front stoop for a bit before getting ready for work.

Just a couple of years ago, this scenario would have exhausted and overwhelmed me…just the thought of having to shovel and then do my work…EXHAUSTING. That’s the thing about depression, though. It makes everything harder than it has to be.

So today I am grateful for good friends, dedicated family, but mostly for my mental health and continuing recovery from depression. This life is a privilege, one denied to so many, and while my behaviors and attitudes could still use some improvement, I choose to enjoy this snowy morning. I choose to be grateful that I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and a lovely life.

*and to those of you who have shown me kindness, thank you. You know who you are.